We all hear how vital self-care and self love are in our life, but how do we actually practice self love in a way that moves us towards our version of success?
Most of us are taught from a young age to be helpful, kind and polite. Girls are also expected to be smiley and, let’s just say it as it is, conforming! And there is sure a huge price to pay for conforming, that held us back, especially as women. Read more about it here.
This leads to a whole generation of women lacking confidence.
Once you realise that you have been conditioned to be this way and that you are allowed to be different, you’ll find the strength to rise up and own your power!
Self Love: How do you do that?
- Stay true to yourself. If you want to focus on self love, write down what your values are and make the decision that these are your non-negotiable!
- Allow yourself to dream big and go for what you truly want, no matter what your family and friends expect you to be or do in your life. That is a true self love, when you give yourself the permission to be who and what you want to be.
- Believe in yourself and your capabilities for making anything you put your mind to is absolutely possible! Self love is about giving you a chance.
So now you’ve worked internally about self love, what do you do with others?
Here’s where you have to be strong and speak up if you want to continue self love!
Speaking up is something you’ll have to practice. You might find it very hard and awkward, to begin with, but I promise you, the more you do it, the easier it becomes. It shows your courage and confidence. It signals to people that you have self worth and that you are not afraid to stand your ground. If you never done this before, people will most likely be shocked, but you will find this therapeutic, just like practicing self love.
Self Love: What opportunities are you missing out while staying silent?
For me, it was a few promotions and pay-rises, but most importantly, my self love and self-respect.
I realised I had to start speaking up; otherwise, people would continue walking all over me. I had the choice to speak up and be heard or never get what I want in life.
Without speaking up and fighting for what I wanted I would always have to settle. Because nothing would be given to me just like that.
By speaking up and putting healthy boundaries in place, I could finally honour myself and be happy! Here is an article you may enjoy on ‘How to set healthier boundaries‘.
I couldn’t accept being a woman in her 30s, with her own children and her own business, but still being treated as a powerless and clueless child by her mother!
Was it easy? Hell, no! I had to raise my voice and stand my ground several times before she finally got it. I was anxious and nervous every single time. That is when I realised that self love is so much more than just pampering myself, it was actually standing up for myself.
Hard, but I did it! And so can you!
Once you start self love, start believing in yourself and own who you are, you will reflect that energy and feeling onto others, and they will treat you accordingly.
Rise up and step into the shoes of the confident and assertive woman you’ve always had inside you! I absolutely believe in you.
More about becoming fearless leader read ‘Woman Leader: Becoming a gracious fearless leader‘.
Self Love: here are some recommendations for you
Next time you are feeling happy and on top of the world make a list of your best qualities and accomplishments. It may sound a little corny, but it can be a wonderful reminder when you are having a day that is less than amazing.
Get in touch with your inner dialogue. If it’s anything less than loving, encouraging and supportive, it’s time to make a change. You deserve to be spoken to in the same way you would speak to your best friend, sister, brother, daughter, or son.
Find your happy place. Where’s the one place you feel totally at ease, calm, happy, positive, high on life? Go to that place when you are going through hard times, or imagine yourself being there. Think about how it feels, what it smells like, what it looks like. You will feel instant self love come over you and your inner child will thank you for it.
Last but not the least, have fun! Get out there and do the things that light your fire. Enjoy them, enjoy being you and enjoy your incredible life.
Want to know more? Join us as a member of the Women in Business Club for our February theme of Self Love and Confidence. Kate is our first expert of the month and hosted a more in-depth session about why self-love is the first step to success in life. Catch the replay of her masterclass below, exclusively from our Member’s Club Vault.
Kate Bollanou, the best selling author of She is Unstoppable is a coach who helps women find their voice and speak up, so they can get what they truly want from life. She believes that with the right mindset, skills, and methodologies all women can express what they want with confidence and assertiveness.