Self-Care Redefined: Creating the Life You Want that Includes the Truth of Who You Are

Sep 25, 2019

Creating the life you want that includes the truth of who you are.

Self-care is often something talked and dreamt about but rarely executed. Still, we look upon self-care as if it’s a luxury and something we get to do for our birthday.

Self-care has never been more important, especially for busy working women with long lists of to-do’s, complex lives and countless roles and responsibilities in life.

In our fast-paced world with endless opportunities for distraction women get further and further away from life balance and the basic needs to live a fulfilled and healthy life.

It’s easy to just tune out with a pedicure instead of actually showing up and taking on the grown-up life stuff that hangs over us.

The world is changing, you are changing, and the definition of self-care is changing. The good news is that this is something that has been building for a while now and many women are getting ready to expand into the next definition of self-care.

Self-care has long been associated with pampering our external appearance. Who hasn’t (me included) been longing for that day of shopping, the SPA massage, or the weekly manicure and called it self care?

But a lot of women have been starting to feel that something important is missing here.

The temporary high of a shopping trip when you found the perfect jeans, the massage that feels so good when you’re on the table, or admiring that new nail polish perfectly applied is not enough anymore.

There is something hugely important missing in the overall perception of self-care, namely the attention to self-care of our inner world.

No new pair of jeans will mute the inner (often negative) self talk for a few hours, but soon the inner critic emerges again and just continues as it’s always done.

Self-Care of your inner world starts with Shifting your thoughts (including what you say to yourself)

So, in a nutshell, the definition of self-care is getting redefined from a quick fix shopping trip to a long term holistic path of “learning how to take care of yourself first, from the inside and out”.

What a difference, right?

So, what does this mean for all of us?

We’re reaching a time when learning to be totally authentic and transparent with yourself long term is going to be so much more important than the quick-fix event.

It means feeling emotionally lighter. You’re going to not only shine on the outside more, but your eyes are also going to shine as well.

Re-learning how to become your own biggest cheerleader and support system again.

It means that more yoga classes, more energy healer sessions and meditation workshops are going to be the new go-to for self-care instead of the nail salons, SPAs, and shopping malls.

We need so much more downtime, quiet time, meditation, slow gentle yoga stretching, than we think we do.

Self-Care redefined equals feeding your self-love.

“You can change your situation if you change your thoughts about it!”

I am the first person to admit that a few years ago I totally was the one longing for a day of shopping on my own after a highly stressful work-week, chores and kids activities.

I couldn’t wait to get out of the house, by myself or with a friend, walk in and out of stores looking at beautiful clothes and things to buy.

I still love shopping but it’s not my go-to for self-care anymore. What changed?

I realized that the feeling of fulfillment I had when I gave myself a break to go shopping was only temporary. When I came back home with my shopping bags I got thrown back into the chaos and to-dos.

The feeling of fulfillment didn’t last.

So I became curious about what was missing. I wanted to maintain that feeling of fulfillment longer, I didn’t want to lose it.

That’s when I started to ask myself questions like.

What do I really value? What is important to me? Why do I live the way I do? etc.

The questions kept coming…and here I am.

My perception of self-care has totally changed.

Self-care went from looking outwards to release stress with an external activity (such as shopping) to looking inwards and releasing stress through meditation, yoga, journaling and connecting with nature.

The key to do this transformation was to become self-aware.

Becoming aware of what I as a unique being is here to do and what I need deep down to be able to nurture not only my inner world but also my outer world my body long term.

Finding that balance within is the starting point to a life on purpose, in fulfilment and abundance.

Do you want to know what this all means for you?

How you can shift this definition of self-care for you?

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It Starts With Seeing Your Life In A New Light.

As I mentioned, the redefinition of self-care starts with becoming self-aware. But where do you start? It often starts with asking yourself deep questions and learning from your past experiences.

You want to connect and understand the path you’ve walked so far in life, what your values truly are today. Your values were often given to you a long time ago so you want to understand how your life today align (or not align) with those values.

You are free to change your values and beliefs, they don’t have to be what they always have been!

Next is to look at your reality today and get totally REAL with yourself. Everyone has things that we like and dislike about our lives today, that’s perfectly normal.

However, what happens is that we often ignore things that we dislike in our life because deep down we’re don’t believe that we can change the situation.

You CAN change your situation if you change your thoughts about it!

The most important self-care step is when it comes to making this shift for yourself is allowing yourself to dream.

I mean OVER-THE-TOP-DREAM-baby!!  

You have a DREAM inside you. Everyone does. It’s your light, it’s your birthright to live your best life that you can live.

Then it’s about getting to work. To truly trust the process and DO the work for yourself, so that you can feel taken care of by yourself for good. Self-care is self-love.

It’s about getting realistic, doable actions and steps towards your Ideal Dream Day laid out that you can say YES! to every day.

With this approach, you’ll be seeing your life in a New Light. You’ll be LIVING your Ideal Dream Day sooner than you think!

No more quick fixes, by simple changes to your every day approach you can elevate your self-care to increase your self-love instantly.

All of this is possible for you. If you don’t know where to start this shift can effectively be a reality for you with support from a life coach.

Long-Term Love For Your Mental, Emotional & Physical Well-Being Over Quick-Fixes.

It doesn’t stop there. One of the main disconnects is that we tend to live only in our minds. This tendency is also true when it comes to how we view self-care.

The mindset change now starting to happen is that we’re viewing our minds and bodies as one together.

The shift here is that we used to make a self-care decisions only by the mind (oh I NEED those new pair of jeans, let’s go shopping!!) to now starting to consider our needs from a long-term holistic view of the needs of the body, mind, and spirit together, at all times.

Self-care that includes the truth of who we are.

Simply, if you’re having a stressful experience at work, it will be absorbed in the body and vice versa. If you include your entire being in your self-care decisions it’s about how you can increase love for yourself both from your mind and body perspective.

Self-care is not a quick fix anymore, it’s a long term love for your inner and outer well-being.

In summary, are you ready for a shift in how you define self-care? Self-care that includes the truth of who you are? Do you want to live a more fulfilled, connected, passionate and inspired life?

If you want to redefine self-care:

  1. Get curious about yourself and your path to where you are today. Self-awareness is key.
  2. Make an honest, real inventory of your reality today. What in your life do you love, what can be different?
  3. Allow yourself to dream BIG and immerse yourself fully in the possibility of living your Ideal Dream Day!
  4. Consider self-care as self-love supporting your long term needs. A holistic view of your body, mind, and spirit together. Start making small, realistic changes to your daily routines.

What is your biggest struggle with self-care?

Ulrika Sullivan
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Ulrika Sullivan

Intuitive Spiritual Life Coach

I’m Ulrika Sullivan.

I support mindful working women to find calm and return to balance in all areas of their lives so they can live every day like it’s a day off.

I’m a mom, wife, intuitive spiritual life coach, writer & yoga teacher and a fiercely calm professional. I’m passionate about helping you see your life in a new light and get you to where you want to be professionally, personally, mentally, physically and spiritually.

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